(Source: lovequotesrus, via lovelustlife)
Someday, we’ll run into each other again, I know it. Maybe I’ll be older and smarter and just plain better. If that happens, that’s when I’ll deserve you. But now, at this moment, you can’t hook your boat to mine, because I’m liable to sink us both.
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Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin (via make-me-smile) (Source: quote-book, via vaning18) |
That moment when I try not to fall asleep because I am expecting a text from someone I love, then suddenly his message was like this. I stayed awake for another 2 hours just because of this. ♥
A Different March 25
I sat up straight. As I stepped inside the car, I felt as if I could not breathe. I still tried to take a long deep breath as I feel my ribs crushing against my insides. I wiped away the water that began forming on my forehead. But still something slid, touched my lips and slipped into my mouth. I swallowed and tasted salt.
We were five in the car. I was sitting next to him while he drove the car smoothly along the paved road. We were all noisy and drunk and he was the only one quiet. Sometimes, I did wonder about why was he always quiet; about what he was always thinking. He always speak as though he’s running out of words to say. He kept his eyes on the road until we dropped her sister home. Until then, I still can’t look straight at him. I can feel as though my heart is thundering under my shirt.
He turned on the music that broke the deafening silence between us. We were halfway back to our friend’s house when he asked me if I wanted to join him in a joyride. I was a bit hesitant at first but decided to give in since it would be our first time to really have some quality time together.
Our talk began from random things, to families, to friends and then relationships. He told me about his story and I told him mine. Suddenly, he stopped. I waited for a second or two, not wanting to disturb him in case he was thinking of something else. He did not move or look at me. He just continued driving. I kept staring at him, relishing the silence. I called his name softly. He did not turn at the sound of my voice. I took his silence as a chance to observe him for the first time. He had a quality of lightness about him which I loved. I held back when I felt I was about to reach for him. I can’t wait anymore. What is he thinking? Why is he quiet? I wanted to ask what is he thinking and feeling at that moment; I was like a time bomb just waiting for him to push the button and explode.
He stopped the car. “Will you be my girlfriend?” he suddenly asked, returning my consciousness to reality. Holding my breath, not knowing what was happening, I sat there rooted on the chair. There was something at the back of my throat as I felt a tight sensation in my stomach. “This is the guy whom I know I would love until the last beat of my heart”, I thought. At that, I cleared my throat and looking straight in his eyes, I gently said “Yes.”
In nearly ten minutes, we were at our friend’s house again, holding glasses and drinking beer. The alcohol had no effect on me this time. I remained awake, oblivious about what is happening around me. I saw him looking at me. I almost wanted to hold him as I saw his eyes sparkle with joy. It was because of his eyes that until then, there was nothing I wouldn’t do, nothing I wouldn’t risk just to be near him. Seeing the glow in them, I wondered about other people who must have struggled with love, who must still be struggling with it. And for the next while, I allowed myself to think, to believe, that there were only the two of us inside that place. I even asked myself, “Was I just dreaming? Did he really ask me to be his girlfriend?” That scene had a caffeine effect on me. I was lying on the bed, eyes closed and cheeks turned into a curve but my mind kept going back on that moment where his lips uttered the words and I was in cloud nine in an instant. ”He is the guy whom I know I would love until the last beat of my heart”, I thought for the last time. And at that moment, I did not hold back the tears that began to flood down my cheek. I held the blanket tighter to my body as if remembering how it feels to be in his arms. And I knew as I think of his smile again, I will not want to let go- NEVER.
